Perception, Affirmations and Neuroplasticity
They say you will never exceed your own perception of yourself.
They say your only limit is your own mind. They say the way others view us is not important but what is, incredibly important is how we see ourselves.
Our mind is a jungle. One of the most important skills we need to learn through life is how to control our mind. This is no where near as easy as it sounds and it can take decades, even a lifetime to achieve. Learning how to control our thoughts, reactions (or choice not to react at all), expectations and perceptions is an ongoing daily ritual that takes a lot of continuous focus.
Some people believe our path is planned and we have no say in our lives at all. I understand that, sometimes life makes us feel as though we have no say in what happens to us. I believe we create our own reality based on our experiences, thoughts, beliefs, our perception of ourselves, our choices and our expectations in life. I know we don’t always have a say in what happens to us but we have every say in how we see, interpret and handle everything that happens to us on a daily basis. I believe what is on the outside is a projection of what is on the inside.
How do you perceive yourself? Really?
How we were raised, our personality type and our mindset have a great influence on how we perceive ourselves.
Some people may have been told as children, (whether directly or indirectly through parental language and behaviours) that they are not worth much. That they won’t amount to much and are a waste of space. On the other end of the scale, some children may have been led to believe that they are better or more deserving than others.
Some children were told that they will do great things in their life, that they will change the world or save the planet. That is a very heavy load to carry that often has the intent to inspire but also risks bringing a sense of failure as time progresses.
Some people are told they are worthless in adulthood by a partner, friend or colleague. Their perception of themselves is either altered, or if already negative, reinforced by someone they once listened to. Some adults aim to belittle their partners in a fearful attempt to gain control, command or influence.
Sometimes our self perception is changed by us. Events happen in life that may leave us feeling unworthy, we wish we could have done something differently to change an outcome, we feel helpless possibly responsible. The thoughts and questioning that occurs inside our head can leave us feeling less deserving of happiness.
All of the above scenarios reinforce the importance of our perception of ourselves. It is imperative that we are able to honestly assess how we see ourselves and strive to make changes where needed. How do you perceive yourself? Are you worthy of happiness? Deserving of that career? Do you feel you are beneath or above others? That other people are more or less deserving or valued than yourself?
What is Neuroplasticity?
By definition, neuroplasticity is the the ability of the brain to form and reorganise synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience, or following injury.
It is a reference to the plasticity of our brains and can be defined as the ability of the nervous system to change its activity in response to intrinsic or extrinsic stimuli by reorganising its structure, functions, or connections. (REFERENCE https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6400842/)
Our brain can continue developing and changing throughout life. In a nutshell our brain can modify and re-wire itself.
Some people may need to learn to walk, speak or eat again following an accident or medical event. With therapy and rehabilitation this can be achieved. Some people can bring themselves out of a deep depression and completely flip their mindset. Some people can radically change their perception of themselves and see their own true worth.
It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of time. But if you honestly want to make a change it is very, very possible.
Maybe you noticed thoughts or behaviours in yourself that you would like to change. Maybe you want to change the way you see yourself. Maybe you want to live from a place of love and happiness as opposed to fear, judgement and anger.
We used to think that personalities were fixed and mostly hereditary but research shows that focussed intervention, or major life events can lead to changes in personality traits.
In fact everyday we are building and creating new neural pathways. For example; learning the name of someone you just met, learning a new language, studying a new subject.
Where do we start?
Happiness is found within and true love has the power to heal. So we start with ourselves. Building and creating new neural pathways just purely for ourselves.
The brain of a child is more plastic, open and capable of change than an adult brain, and is considered to be fully developed at the age of 25, but we know for adults rewiring the brain while a more lengthy process, is very possible. There are many ways to learn a new trait and build those positive pathways but what worked for me was affirmations.
I would look at affirmations 10 years ago and thought of it as a trend, a gimmick almost. But in looking for a last resort (nothing else seemed to work for me), I gave affirmations a go. I started with 2 simple lines and repeated them to myself while washing up each day. Attaching a new habit to an existing one is a great way to remember a new action. See my previous post about habit stacking.
Motivation was at an all time high during the first week. It was something new and the prospects were exciting. Though given that I needed to allow at least 66 days, the novelty wore off pretty quickly and I know this is the stage where most people quit.
Persistence is a strong trait that I have, possibly born more out of earlier defiance than anything else but I know I have it in bucket loads. This part for me was simple, I set myself a challenge to do this for 10 weeks and kept a log on a calendar on the wall to track my progress. You can do the same, when you want something you set your mind to the challenge and do what it takes to get you there. We owe that to ourselves.
Science says by day 21 our short term memory starts to take hold of new habits which meant by week 3 I didn’t have to remind myself as much to say my affirmations while washing up. I noticed it was beginning to occur naturally as I was filling the sink, the words of the 2 lines would just start to flow. It was heartening to see the foundations of a new habit forming.
In the following 2 weeks I was happily surprised to catch myself naturally saying the 2 lines to myself out of comfort throughout the day. These 2 lines were becoming my way of thinking, they were forming a new version of me. If something would happen in my day that had me questioning if I would be able to accomplish something, the line; “I am just as worthy and capable as anyone else, I deserve to be happy and enjoy my life.” would naturally play in my mind, over and over again. I was 5 weeks in and had formed a new habit.
Repetition rewires the brain.
My affirmations had turned into automatic self talk, which had turned into automatic self love, which changed my perception of myself. I honestly believed that I was just as worthy as anyone else and that I deserved to be happy and enjoy my life. I honestly believed that thought to my core.
Mission accomplished, I had achieved a new perception of myself and contributed to my evolving mindset. I was even ahead of schedule!
Why Affirmations?
An affirmation is usually a short sentence of powerful words put together with the aim of tapping into your conscious and subconscious mind. Designed to motivate you, challenge and push you to change your perception. Here are some examples of positive affirmations: I believe in myself, and trust my own wisdom; I am a successful person; I am confident and capable at what I do. I am safe, free and happy. You can write your own.
A person learning to walk again would repeat a set of physical excercises to gain strength and also muscle memory in order for the action performed to eventually become a natural occurrence where no thought would be needed in order for the action to be carried out.
Affirmations serve as a mental excercise running through the exact same process. In changing your perception of yourself, you change what you accept in life.
We often don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. If we see things from a happy place we are bound to react to events in a happier way and have a happier existence. If we see our colleagues as always being against us we will react in a defensive way.
If we perceive ourselves as worthy of love and respect, we will live life from a place of love and respect, and this will infuse directly and automatically into all of our interactions with people and experiences through our day. We will see ourselves as worthy of that dream job we want, and being in a positive and capable mindset will allow us to take it.
Using different affirmations targeting select areas of our lives will help keep our positive thoughts in the foreground. Creating new neural pathways that become our way new of living.
Affirmations are also a really helpful way to alleviate a panic attack. This affirmation for example; “I am happy, healthy and safe.” can be a super quick go to when overwhelm starts to set in. If a situation has you starting to panic, thoughts are racing through your head, heart rate is rising, you can try to catch yourself just by repeating “I am happy, healthy and safe.” Try that now, repeat this affirmation 5 – 7 times, you will see that you will feel better quite quickly.
As Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman said “ People put you down enough, you start to believe it.” While this is true, if we lift ourselves up enough, we start to believe that too.
Please note I am not a trained medical professional, psychologist or counsellor. These are simply my thoughts based on my lived experiences.
Please be sure to seek professional help as always, if you feel you are in need of assistance.
Thank you so much for being here,
The Humble Hunter x
Lifeline is an organisation with lovely people ready to talk, just click through https://www.lifeline.org.au/